When shall I schedule my nervous breakdown??

I haven't written for a while because life has been a little crazy. It's not just life that's crazy, I think I, myself, am teetering on the edge of crazy as well.

Things I like this week: the new OPI Hong Kong collection, chocolate--any kind of chocolate, and my new "suddenly skinny" cami. Things I dread/dislike this week: being evaluated/judged, potholes (ARG!), and banana clip comebacks (I saw two this weekend on older ladies--somebody should really let them know it's 2010 now).

Student teaching is harder than I ever thought it would be. I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety most mornings, and unfortunately, middle schoolers sense weakness so they can prey on it. I also happened to pick a very bad month to stop taking my PMDD medication. I've tested and now I know that it was definitely not a placebo effect that was keeping me happy. I can start taking my "happy" pills again in a few days so hopefully I'll bounce back somewhat. Knowing that I'm not doing as well as I should be with my teaching is also making me more anxious and very depressed and that leads to less than energetic teaching which circles back around to being more depressed and so on and so forth. Maybe this is just the PMS and the frustration talking but I just want to curl up in a ball and cry for about a week straight....Or maybe a tropical vacation instead.

BTW, I know you're all wondering about the computer guy. Yes, we're still dating, but I haven't decided how I feel about him except that I really like spending time with him and I don't want to stop talking to him or hanging out yet. He's still kind of shy and he hasn't even tried to hold my hand let alone kiss me yet! I would probably know faster if this could work out by kissing him to see if there are any sparks, but for now I'm just enjoying getting to know the company.

It's a long weekend, crack open the wine!

After an extra long work day, I'm looking forward to an extra long weekend. To kick it off, I'm having a great time watching a marathon of The Nanny while sipping Pinot Grigio and eating gruyere, camembert, and apple slices. Ok, so I've already finished my pinot grigio and I'm feeling a little buzzed.

Where did I leave off last time? Oh, yes. My date with the computer guy. I'm still not sure if I want to be more than friends, but I have a hard time turning people down so we have another date this weekend. It also happens to be Valentine's weekend, but I avoided scheduling our date on the actual Valentine's Day. He's starting to come out of his shell more, and I'm wondering if I may start to feel more spark when he feels comfortable around me. I do like that he compliments me often and asks me about things I'm doing, but maybe that just means that I like me....

Oh the drama!

This has been a tumultuous week. If you remember, last weekend was my brazen adventure of asking out a boy (for the first time) who, by the way, I'm fairly certain is too dense to have even realized that I was asking him on a date. We haven't interacted in a week now.

The middle section of my week was filled in by a queasy stomach and some very naughty students. I thought my students were finally getting settled into the routine of their new semester and the fact that I've been a part of their routine for four weeks now. Since I've started teaching on my own without much input from my cooperating teacher, these little brats have decided to test their limits by being as rebellious and obnoxious as possible. They made me cry once, but at least they don't know because I didn't cry in front of them.

The end of my week was much more pleasant. Remember the lone single man in my building? Well, he finally asked me out so we had dinner together last night. He's pretty shy, but he's nice to talk to. And for the first time in a while I didn't have to shove my date off me and yell at him that "no" means "no." So we'll just see what happens next...